it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize