My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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