his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
It's shark week go big or go home
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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