Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
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I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
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I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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