Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
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