Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
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He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
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I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
You did what with his pubic hair?
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