we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
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He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
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His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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