I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize