We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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