So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
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Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
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And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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