There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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