You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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