I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize