Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
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