UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
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don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
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Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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