I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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