I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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