he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
She just used a chaser for red wine.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
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You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
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i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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