sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
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I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
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I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
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