She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
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