its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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