just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
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He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
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You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
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