mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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