Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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