lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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