I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
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