Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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