no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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