I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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