he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
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It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
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mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I want to fling myself into the sun
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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