let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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