i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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