I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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