Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
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