escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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