party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
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