Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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