I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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