i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
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