upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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