Having a random hookup so left but love u
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize