I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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