there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
it's like iHOP with fire
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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