i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Randomize