I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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