Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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