i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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