I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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