Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
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Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
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