i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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